Saturday, October 4, 2008

Feel kinship for her awful kids, just keep her out of the lower 48

Look closely as Palin's daughter flips the bird as if born to the barn.

I forget which one of her tikes this is, Trigger or Snapping Turtle--something like that. See how charming she is, flipping the fuck you at her brother? Word is the governor's boy, the soldier, was threatened with jail time for dealing drugs unless he pulled his act together in the military. And Miss Alaska must so be looking forward to becoming a grandmother! It's a risk you run when the only thing kids know about sex is that they shouldn't do it, but it's wonderful. We had a village idiot around here get pregnant the same way--she had no idea could feel so good and make a baby, too. It's a puzzle all around.

Like a lot of folks, I can relate to rotten kids. If you don't think your kids are rotten, you probably don't much about how they really are.

Joe Six-pack knows his kids are rotten. He and his wife Shawnette love to chase their gamey meat with a cold can of Stag. He doesn't trust anyone who wouldn't go to his church. He is convinced that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child--contrary to all evidence at home, but it's the authoritarian world view that keeps him comfy. He's a follower for the most part, because life is unfair. But given a little authority, he tends cruelly toward the heavy end of the nighclub.

He and his wife don't tell other about those intense dreams involving the arctic governor letting her hair down.

Rove is a smart, smart man to have picked a peck of Palin. If anyone could feed into the smaller side of the American psyche, the part that believes Fox is fair and balanced, it's this lovely lady.

Governor Palin does have a wink and a catchy tune, but she's too slow to dance to--not when the whole fucking shooting match is at stake. She's ready for a seat on "The View," not as Miss Runner Up to the biggest, oldest cheese in America.

Disarmingly charming, self-satisfied and incurious, she's easily dishonest and proudly unsophisticated. All the while, just like Dubya, she's dead certain of all that rattles around in her head.

We really, really need to stop recruiting from the that end of the DNA pool. She does have that reptilian sort of intelligence that makes her dangerous. She's cunning, that one, and vindictive. She says her rudder's stuck on true north, but she'll wiggle it around if she thinks she can get away with it.

I bet all that McCain thinks about is wiggling rudders.

Republicans will have to steal another election to get her to D.C. They couldn't possibly pull it off a third time, could they?


anwaya said...

Palin's coat appears to be covered in cartoon images of fried eggs. Will this start a fashion trend?

Jill Draper said...

As awful as that is, I'd prefer to feel her impact on fashion than on politics. There's no fixing stupid, as they say, but you can always get another coat.

Bob Dole's Peanut Butter said...

Nothing says subtle sophistication like a Wigglytuff explosion on a rain slicker. As for the possibility of four more years of that lovely combination of ignorance and arrogance, I share the sentiments of the saxophone section.